Dear Mr. Strauss-Kahn,
I am writing to you regarding your ‘alleged’ sexual assault of a chamber maid in your New York hotel suite. As you are well aware, the appalling list of charges against you includes, amongst other things, attempted rape in the first degree, oral sexual conduct by forcible compulsion and unlawful imprisonment. Despite the hopes and ambitions of your legal team, the chances of you avoiding an extremely long custodial sentence and resuming your political ambitions in France are infinitesimally small.
I have, however, been approached by the United States Justice Department under the provisions of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 to offer you the opportunity of what you might consider, a ‘reprieve’, and so avoid a lengthy trial and, inevitably for you, conviction and sentencing by the U.S. court.
As your officially appointed Rehabilitations Officer I am authorized to design and supervise your programme.
The process will take place in a correctional facility in an indisclosed location, where I will be ably assisted by my friend and colleague Mistress Valkyrie.
On arrival, you will be locked in a cage to consider your misdemeanors for a period of my choosing. Call it ‘UNLAWFUL IMPRISONMENT’ if you wish! After that, you will be taken from the cage, your clothing will be removed and you will be strapped down to begin the process of ‘rehabilitation’.
Mistress Valkyrie will begin by sinking her sharp talons into your exposed throat before forcing a huge strap-on into your unwilling mouth. She is particularly sadistic I’m afraid and she will test your endurance immediately. If you dare to gag, she will force the strap-on harder and deeper until you learn to endure the ordeal like your poor innocent victim had to. You will be finding out in no uncertain terms that a forced blow-job isn’t so much fun for the one who has to give it. I think this what the Americans so quaintly call ‘ORAL SEXUAL CONDUCT BY FORCIBLE COMPULSION’.
This is not all, I’m afraid. At the same time, I will be introducing you to my own concept of ‘NON-CONSENSUAL SEX’ by using a similarly sized strap-on device on you. No small strap-ons for you sir and no lubrication either. Losing your virginity will probably not be fun for you at all, I would imagine, especially as you will be the one being penetrated for a change.
Finally, and to ensure that you do not continue with your arrogant, misogynistic, womanizing ways for a good while, your legs will be parted and secured, whereupon you will receive a double ball-busting session you will remember for some time. Mistress Valkyrie and I particularly enjoy this aspect of punishment and we both possess a superb array of sharp stiletto-heeled shoes to enable us to fulfill the final part of the process.
If you resist, we will, of course, have to continue with the programme until you have learnt some lessons in humility.
I hope, most fervently, that the rehabilitation programme will not be delayed any longer Mr. Strauss-Kahn, as I am very much looking forward to turning the tables on you and to teach you the lesson you richly deserve. The helpless expression on your face will be priceless. The alternative for you is much less attractive I believe.